Everything’s connected. Law of Attraction. Manifest your destiny. I’ve always hated that crap. That New Age babble. The reason I’m averse has to do with my wholesale impatience with limited accountability and anti-intellectualism. My thinly veiled intellectual elitism not-with-standing, self-helpy, NewAgey platitudes reek of laziness to me. Complacency. And, under certain circumstances, nobody demonstrates laziness and complacency more than moi—so yes, I’m responding to my shadow in a very j’accuse sorta way, too.
But there’s another side to all that, and it has to do with control. I’m just going to say it: Hello, my name is Suzy, and I’m a control freak. The very idea of “let go and let God” makes me want to smack someone. I’m a great believer in life being about puzzle solving. Or not solving, per se, but working toward solving. The “going” as one of my writing teachers once put it. In making connections that invite light through the cracks, one must engage, on a bunch of different levels—and I’m just now beginning to get that many of those levels aren’t visible, or readily accessible. Ergo, God.
Some beautiful choreography this last week demonstrated this for me. The various hap-hazard writing projects in which I’m immersed held hands for a brief glimmer. Yoga folks play this out in Kundalini, a way to tap into connectedness through stillness. Catholics solemnly shuffle up to Communion. Quakers take turns talking in the context of resonant association. In astronomy, they call this sysygy. For me, my articles and stories presented to one another, drawing from a communal bath of some sort. History, fitness, love, dance, horseback riding, community. These themes begged, built and borrowed from one another, often creating time in the zone. The muse of it all. A very productive week.
And, none of it felt controlled. I had three whole days of not wanting to smack anyone, even!