Tuesday, November 17, 2009

unwelcome information

My last couple of chapters of my NaNoWriMo novel have been difficult to push out. I find myself wandering around in a wasteland of confusion, annoyance and failure of spirit.

It's hard to write this way...really hard. My mind wanders, I check facebook, I move money around on my online bank accounts, and then, just for the hell of it, move it back again.

My character--and the book--is getting way more sexual than I'd intended. Yesterday, there was a surprising revelation with her, and I reacted the same way I would had I just found out about a friend's unsavory secret. Sort of tmi, sort of "I wish I didn't know that."

Shit.

Because I'm writing blindly forward in this exercise of word-count-as-grail-object, I now must digest this information, and move ahead with it and see where it all leads. Never-the-less, I feel somewhat betrayed.

1 comment:

  1. I think I hear your sentiments being echoed by more than a few NaNos...or WriMos....or whatever. I love the purpose of this grand exercise because it forces you to get that book down on paper no matter what and creates a real sense of accountability. Nobody wants to be the person who shows up to workshop without a finished draft, right?

    You'll do it, Suzy! When you're so close to finishing, trusting your gut is the toughest, especially if you're not getting that golden feedback that keeps us pressing on as writers. Trust yourself, your grand plan and cross that finish line! You're almost there!

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